Love Poem 15

While I am not alone,

navigating this life feels like

wandering through a maze

without hands to feel the walls,

without eyes to look for traps,

without a nose to smell the gas,

without ears to hear the wailing of alarms,

without a heart to feel fear,

and without the guts to just pick a direction.

The only thing there is to do is

to trust my partner at my side,

but that is the easy way, and the smart way,

and I can never seem to choose either of those.

Instead,

I push away

those who would give me sight,

those who would lend me ears,

those who would feel for me,

and who would give me breath when my lungs will hold no air.

Rather than let

my heart

be touched by another

or allow fear into my heart so as to understand danger,

I instead drink water long gone stagnant

and drag a cross behind me rather than leave it

in the past

where it belongs.

Oh, that I could find a way to let someone in

without setting a circle of fire around myself.