Love Poem 47
Here is another part of love no one wants to talk about
and that’s when you get told something you did is fucked up
and I don’t mean when your partner is overtly critical or
harping about a wrong turn or giving you an earful for drinking
too much,
or spending more money than you should have or spending
money you didn’t have.
There are all kinds of moments in love where your partner
will tell you what you don’t want to hear, and
then there are the deep pieces where something
you thought to be true
is brought to light as not being true.
There are moments where a value you held turns out
to not hold any value in this world,
where an attitude and a sentiment are exposed as
ugly rather than beautiful.
Sometimes we need our partner to look us in the eye and say
you fucked up
or
who do you think you are
or
I don’t care what you mean, you are wrong,
or how about this one:
fine, you’re right and I fucked up, but how you went about
telling me is MORE fucked up.
No, we want for someone to always pump our tires.
We want moments comprised only by the warmest feelings
and that just isn’t how it all works.
On the other side of things,
we don’t always want to be the person
who points the finger or raises the hand
because it is hard and it is exhausting,
but if you love someone truly and deeply
than it is an obligation to do so even if it means
what you say is ugly and hard.
if we truly love someone, shouldn’t we hold them to the highest ideal?
I understand no one is perfect, but this isn’t about
the skidmark on the underwear touching the carpet
or spending the night in the drunk tank;
this is about saying
hey, I watched you rip that person off,
I watched you take what wasn’t yours,
I hear you spread untruth about the undeserving.
This isn’t about being a mindreader or being someone
that is always looking for a problem to point out,
this is about if your partner, your love,
your person you celebrate and raise up
needs to receive some humility and be turned towards the light
because it’s too easy to get turned around in this world,
it’s easy to lose track,
and it’s easy to get lost and not know where to turn.
Sometimes our maps and our compasses don’t show us the right way.
Sometimes we get caught up and sometimes
we need help
getting back and there is no shame there.
Where the shame lies is in the
unwillingness
to open our mouths
so that ears can be opened,
so that eyes can be opened,
so that hearts can be better opened.
